Much to my hatred, I was sick yesterday. I had to skip school and rest for the whole day. Good thing I didn't miss much in school. Just yellow paper seatworks and an hour or more of psychological tests.
And goodbye plus two's. I'll then go back to trusting my useless principle that I don't really need the plus two if I work hard. But we all know I still need them. Cuz I can never work hard enough.
Anyway, I went to the Psych department this afternoon to inquire about the things I missed. It just made me feel kinda flattered that Sir Ryan, Ma'am Ces, and even Ma'am Joy asked why I was absent yesterday. It's like we're all close, like real friends, or colleagues.
I'm learning sign language, btw. It's fun.
Posted by subjunctive at 03:06 AM. Filed under School Drama.
I'm going to take a deep breath and let all the negative vibes out. As far as my bullcrap intolerant self goes, I'm sure I can be logical about the whole situation. And for the record, I cannot hate you. I...love you more than my pride. Ok, so you were exchanging emails with this Lauren shi*, excuse me, and you emailed her first asking how is she. Uhm, hello? I was hospitalized for 2 weeks last month and did you send me an email? No? Yeah, I thought so too. But it's ok, I understand, you were so busy with school and the restaurant that time right, sweetie?
Next, your email was dated 11/22/09, 11:24am, wow. I thought you teach from 8-12 and you have no breaks because you wanted to maximize your teaching time so you could improve your R-filled english as well? (Note: he's japanese and they don't have the letter L in their alphabet). So, do you teach your students how to send emails too? How generous. You should have a raise then dear, for going an extra mile. Just make sure that your head teacher won't catch you on ym ok?..
And 3rd, you were talking about a party. And how did this Lauren shi*, excuse me, turned out to be sooo important that you felt so "alone" that time when she did not come? She your new nanny or something? Does she give you those massages now and fills your drink with lots of ice because you like it super cold? And a party?? You? You got so mad at me when I attended my soiree, (and I just sang one song!) because according to you, parties are not necessary anymore because it's for single people who wants to find a date. And I thought you hate crowds? Oh I get it. You and Lauren will just sit on a corner and be by yourselves to avoid everyone else, because you're claustrophobic. Wait. How silly of me. Maybe she's claustrophobic too!
Mahal, I am so sorry. I shouldn't have doubted you..You are so....sensitive.. I feel so stupid for accusing you of anything. And please don't hate me for reading your emails, and feel free to delete those guys on my facebook again if they make you jealous. I'm sorry. And and tell Lauren shi*, excuse me, that I'm sorry too. Tell her I said hi ok? 
So there.
listening to Gravity
feeling like strangling myself
Posted by lifeisabitch at 05:42 PM. Filed under thinking aloud.
After all we have been through, I can only look at you, through the eyes you lied to..
Damn it hurts. Should I be alarmed? Is this paranoia? I've been waiting for 3 days. I checked your email and you've been replying to her, everyday. What's up with that? No one's forcing you to stay. I lived for 20 years without you and I'm so certain I can still live the rest of my life, (though heavily broken) with one less of a liar in it. Just don't take me for a fool. I've never been one. Or maybe I will be, soon, for giving you all of me.
listening to nymphetamine
feeling half alive
Posted by lifeisabitch at 02:54 PM.
I'm sure he likes me. But the thing is...he doesn't really know how to make me happy.
*Sighs...
Posted by kamotesoup at 10:32 AM.
"Wala kang interes sa itsura ng iba dahil wala rin silang interes sa itsura mo..."
Parang pop-up na pasulpot-sulpot sa utak ko. Wala lang...di naman ako affected pero napapaisip lang ako pag naaalala ko 'to.
It makes sense...somehow,.
Posted by kamotesoup at 10:22 AM.
I refrain from posting sad thoughts. Not that I'm sad today, and I just believe that in my own little way I can contribute to someone's happiness by posting happy entries. 
BUT.. yesterday I was broke. And I was upset. I searched for change, bills, coins all over my room and collected atleast 300 bucks. Shi*, i said, this isn't enough. Went downstairs and saw my baby brother on the pc and I felt bad. He shouldn't see me like that.
You know how sometimes we face challenges and we think it's unfair? But we don't see that behind that, there's a lesson to be learned. Being broke made me mad, but what about those people on the streets, unsure if they'll be able to eat all day? I was so frustrated not being able to buy things i want, for the day, but what about those people that never had the leisure of buying anything, ever. I complain about walking and it's scorching hot (coz I couldn't afford a cab so I've no choice but to go to the terminal & ride a jeep), but how about those that would die to have a pair of legs? I'm such an ingrate. Been so spoiled, spoon-fed and blinded.
Had it not been for experiences like that, I wouldn't appreciate the blessings I have-everyday. 
feeling LOVED and in LOVE
Posted by lifeisabitch at 06:39 PM. Filed under thinking aloud.
..looking at the first picture I posted, made me cry.. I miss him.. I miss my safest place..
Dad had 6 of his teeth pulled out. OUCH. and now he's like a baby, to my mom atleast.
My youngest brother whom I call "Bab", short for baby baboy, told best bud that he was looking for work to save up for Christmas gives. I was..mad. Why didn't he tell me instead?? I'm like.. I was the one who practically raised him!! An he's keeping secrets to me na. Now I just yelled at bestbud and he's trying to look for MadTV videos to calm me down. As I'm doing this entry.
What will you do if someone tells you: Your mom was in escort service.
I passed by the kitchen and the maid was watching ShowTime. I did not recognize Keana Reeves. I was like, si keana na yan?? And it got me thinking that the woman deserves admiration. Judging from what she's been through, she's pretty tough and an epitome of character. Well, yes she slipped and did some shitty things pero I can't blame her. People will always find the easiest way to survive, specially if they are also responsible for feeding thier loved ones. So there, I wanna give her credit for being brave and facing the public inspite of her mistakes before. I'm sure alot of people will raise eyebrows on her. A lot of people don't understand and are self-righteous enough to condemn her, but to me, she's just being realistic. I mean, wouldn't you use the only asset you have to your advantage? Models got their heights, singers their voices, agents their brains (nyahaha!), so she used her, uh, scientifically enhanced body. And I've heard some say that she did a great jod at PBB before, being so so true and sincere. She also changed her ways, after given an opportunity. I wish more of us will be like that. I'm glad to meet people here who are showing their true colors. Though somehow, I hope we all don't have to hide in here, someday, we can just show the world who we are and not be afraid, of their judging looks, their stupid narrow minds and one way impressions.
Morality. Good conduct. If a poor, illiterate girl sells her body to feed her family, is she immoral? But isn't it for a good cause? Society will tag her as pokpok. But when a society-page, elitista girl, sleeps with different guys every night, she's just seen as sexually active and liberated. Where's morality? See what society creates? And now, there's us. This population, who would rather change names and settle for friends without faces, because atleast in here, we don't have to hide our emotions, our truest self. We won't be afraid to speak up. Our secrecy is our freedom.
Wow. All these because of cosmetic surgery. tsk. (makes sense?)
listening to Kokomo
feeling hot
Posted by lifeisabitch at 05:23 AM. Filed under thinking aloud.
You wanna know what I think? I think that those who claim that Paranormal Activity isn't scary at all are just pretending to be tough, showing-off that some creepy indie film didn't scare them in the slightest bit. It is scary! But if you're tougher, as in for real, the effect is just overnight. You still think about it a bit in the morning though. And make these left-and-right head shaking movements accompanied by a little tongue clicking. (Just like saying "Oh my G, that was one helluva movie and it scared the demons out of me.")
I know, I'm talking about myself.
Pero srsly, it is creepy. And it sinks in. This is the first movie that actually had this effect on me. I normally laugh at movies with supernatural themes. But this one, nah.
So, I belong to the bandwagon now.
Posted by subjunctive at 09:38 PM. Filed under Cerebral Hygiene.