So I'm taking a soft pastel painting class at the local community college. Tonight was the first night. As I had expected, it was just older women (40-50 yrs old) and me. These ladies have all had experience with soft pastel before. I have had very little experience and was acting like a newb. Anyway, we were doing some exercises and as I was concentrating on the task at hand, making some really nice red and green color gradients. The instructor Shelly walked by and suddenly said, "Wow Yu, you're really good at making those gradients."
"Thanks," I said.
"And you've got really delicate hands. Look at how delicate his hand is..." Shelly said, to the other students.
The lady sitting beside me took a look and responded, "Oh yeah, those 'are' delicate."
Son of a bitch... I mean... come on. I've got calluses from years of workin out, at the gym! My hands are not delicate. Yes, I'll admit, I have very long and slender fingers that are extremly sexy, but I would not use "delicate" to describe them!
Bottom Line, I've got a real man's hands. Please refer to the picture below.
Note the two huge calluses below my middle finger and ring finger. I've circled them for ease of viewing. Calluses do not grow on delicate hands. They grow on a man who has had a rough and manly life. Case closed.
--------------------------
On a sidenote, these 'rough' hands of mine just finished the Koi drawing for my parents. Turned out pretty nice. Now I just have to buy a 9x12 frame.
listening to Look What You've Done by Jet
feeling amused
Posted by yuhoo7 at 12:23 AM.
Separate Things
2/2/2010
Do you love me?
Of course.
If you love me, will you shave your head for me?
You’re joking right?
No, I’m serious.
Then of course my answer is ‘no’. I am not going to shave my head. Why would you even ask?
Why not?
Because I’m a girl, and my luscious long hair keeps me one, a damned good looking one.
So? I don’t care about it.
I don’t believe you for a second. Anyways, girls like to look pretty and grow their hair out, comb it, straighten it, dye it, not chop it all off.
Not even for love?
You’re talking about two separate things…
But don’t you love me?
Yes , I do. But what does love have to do with getting my head shaved?
It’s proof.
Proof of what? My hair is just fine the way it is.
I know it is fine, baby. It’s beautiful. It’s amazing. It smells great all the time. The thing you do with the curls at the ends… It’s perfect. But I’m talking about a sacrifice.
A sacrifice for what?
For love.
Again for love… You’re still not making any sense.
I’m not asking you to die for me. I just want you to shave your head. If you shave yours, then I’ll shave mine too.
But I don’t want you to shave yours. I like you the way you are. I wouldn’t even tell you to use mouth wash even though your breath stinks.
What? My breath doesn’t stink. Ok, you make a sacrifice for no reason other than to prove your love to me, in this case, shave your lovely head. And I, in turn, will do whatever you ask… as long as it doesn’t cause me bodily harm. You can humiliate me any way you want.
So this is about humiliating each other? About getting back at each other?
No, it’s about love.
Stupid… Alright, you know what? Let’s do this. I want you to shave my head for me right now.
Ooo baby, alright, what would you like me to do to prove my love to you in return?
I don’t know yet. Let’s get this over with.
[Carter shaves Lizzy’s head]
Oh man…
Wow… I look horrible.
Well… you look…
You know I look horrible. Just say it.
Come on, Lizzy. It’s not that bad. Aw come on. You know what? Alright, it’s pretty bad. We’ll go to the mall.
What for?
So I can buy you a wig.
You just shaved my head… so that you could get me a wig?
I know what you’re saying, but I think I like you with hair better, and you think so too. Plus, you said you like to look more girly right? See, I do listen to you sometimes. And since you can’t get your hair back now, I will get you the nicest wig money can buy. You’ll look even better than before. Maybe you can try blonde hair. Yeah… you’d look great as a blonde…
You know what?
What?
I think I like my bald head now.
You’re kidding right?
Nope. No joke. And I know what I want you to do for me… for love.
What is that?
I'm not going to get a wig. Instead I want you to shave my head again in 3 months, then again 3 months after that, and again and again… All for love.
listening to Soul Sister by Train
feeling Inspired and feel like dancing.
Posted by yuhoo7 at 03:29 AM. Filed under Creative Writing, short stories.
It snowed this weekend. The roads were very bad, all iced in. Actually, my boss just texted me saying we don't have to go to work until 12PM. Woo hoo! Thank God for snow.
This picture was taken Sunday, a lot of the snow had melted by this time. It was way too cold on Saturday to take pictures, but I wish I had.
Look at the little green vegetables...
I played with my sister in the snow for like 5 minutes. Actually, playing mostly consisted of me kicking snow at her... All in good fun though.
Rose in the snow.
Even though we were snowed in, my dad had the bright idea of allowing Joey to deliver on Saturday... Of course, his car got stuck in a parking lot. And there were 5 more deliveries... who was going to take them? That's right, I got to go take them... The roads were extremely dangerous, no one should've been out on the road. Driving to the restaurant, I saw this SUV that had flipped over onto the side of the road. That guy must've been driving way to fast. I don't understand these people, slow down. Anyway, I remained safe on the icy roads. The car did slide a little, but I drove slow enough to stay safe.
I worked on this drawing for my parents this weekend. It will be a surprise Chinese New Years present. I will frame it for them.
The Coy in Chinese culture is good luck and fortune. The Lotus is a Buddhist symbol, but I've always associated it with peace and harmony. I should have it done by the end of the week.
Chatted with my aunt earlier tonight.
First thing she said was, " Did you quit your job yet?"
Me: "No, not yet, I'm finding it a lot tougher to do than I thought. I don't know how to talk to mom and dad about it either. But I have to do it"
Aunt: "You don't have to say anything. Just do it. Quit your job first, then just go. Don't wait. The more you wait, the more difficult it will be. Do it ASAP"
My aunt is so bold. Told my buddy in AZ just now I would quit my job before Chinese New Years. I said it so now I have to do it. I'm a man of my word, baby. *phew, I have so much anxiety boiling within me right now. I know quitting my job is the right move for me. It's the uncertainty of the next step that is making me anxious. Quitting this job would push me towards that uncertainty, and that's what's getting to me. I guess the popular and most logical option is that I remain with this job and keep looking for other jobs... but you know what? I find it very difficult to do that. I need some impetus. Something real to force me into action. Unemployment will do that to a person. I've grown lazy and complacent. There's a negative cycle I'm trying to break here. It's a personal growth thing that I'm moving towards more than anything else. In the end, just gotta go with what I feel is right. I haven't done that enough in my life, leaving me feeling like I have never made any decisions in my life. That is the first real hurdle I've got to get over. Less thinking, more gut action. That's my Chinese New Years Resolution. Actually, it's been a ongoing battle. I've made a lot of headway in the past 6 months. It's not that I'm trying to not think at all, God knows I do enough of that. But it's because I think so much that it has become a hindrance to me, a major drag in my life. My mind has mostly negative things to say. I feel the need to go completely to the opposite direction, to break out of this lifelong pattern of nay saying and lack of self confidence. Then, when I'm out of the pattern, I will find the balance. I read this quote by some random person last week, "Remember to always make decisions with your heart and then let your head
head-handle the clean-up." You know what? The head does do a pretty good job at cleaning up messes, and the heart usually points you towards the place that it believes would make you happiest. I feel like there's more to write, but I don't know what else to write.
Follow my gut, follow my heart, and fuck you Head! Whooooooo! 
I'm just kidding head, let's be friends. I still need you. This year is going to be crazy year for me, and I'm looking forward to living it.
listening to L'amoureuse by Carla Bruni
feeling content
Posted by yuhoo7 at 03:57 AM. Filed under Thoughts, Family Matters.
I'm hooked on this song. There are two versions, one English by Sophie Zelmani (Going Home), and I found the Chinese version (Passenger) on youtube today by Faye Wong. The chinese version is not as subtle as the English version, but the lyrics are definitely just as ambiguous. Below is my translation. Faye Wong's version here.The english version by Sophie Zelmani here. <--roy, this is the song I was telling you about a few days ago.
乘客 (Passenger)
高架橋過去了
路口還有好多個
這旅途不曲折
一轉眼就到了
坐你開的車
聽你聽的歌
我們好快樂
We’ve passed through yet another bridge
Many more left where we’re headed
This journey isn't so tortuous
In a blink of an eye we’ll get there
As we ride in your car
Listening to your favorite song
We are so happy
第一盞路燈開了
你在想什麼
歌聲好快樂
那歌手結婚了
The first street lamp has lit
What are you thinking about?
The song makes me so happy
The singer is about to wed
坐你開的車
聽你聽的歌
我不是不快樂
白雲蒼白色
藍天灰藍色
我家快到了
Riding alongside in your car
Listening to your favorite song
I don't consider myself unhappy
Clouds out there are white pale white
High up in the pallid blue Skies
I'm almost home
我是這部車
第一個乘客
我不是不快樂
天空血紅色
星星灰銀色
你的愛人呢
As this car’s first passenger
I don’t consider myself unhappy
The skies are painted crimson red
The stars beyond dots of pale silver
Where is your lover?
Yes I'm going home
I must hurry home
Where your life goes on
So I'm going home
Going home alone
And your life goes on
This ethereal sounding song makes me feel so very relaxed and content. I am going to relate it to my life, and draw meaning from it that way. But maybe later.
This afternoon while driving home from work, I felt the urge to reach out and touch people. Since no one was around for me to touch, I looked through my cell phone and called two old friends who I haven't spoken to in a very long time. It felt good to talk to them, even if it was for just a few minutes. I felt extremely revitalized afterwards.
This passenger song reminds me of a dream I once had. I was sitting in the passenger seat, the driver had always driven, and the guy in the back had always sat in the back. It was the order of things. I later rewrote that dream into a short story. Basically, there were three of us. A driver, myself in the passenger seat, and an extremely timid friend in the backseat. The driver drove us onto a giant circular bridge, and we could not find a way outside this circle. The driver ends up hurting himself, and seemingly dies. I take the driver's seat and drive off. The timid friend in the backseat keeps telling me to go back for the driver. I receive a sign from the radio, and turn up the music to shut my friend's whining out. Then I keep driving to find my way off this bridge. I wrote that story 6 years ago... as a result of what i was dealing with back then, I can't believe it's been 6 years, and I'm still struggling with the same thing. I look around and see that most of my friends have all gotten off this circular bridge of theirs (or maybe they haven't but are doing a better job of covering for it), yet I feel trapped still. Well, I'm done, and getting off this bridge so I can figure out where I need to be.
listening to Passenger by Faye Wong
watching Simpsons
Posted by yuhoo7 at 12:28 AM. Filed under Thoughts.
Could you imagine me with a pickaxe in one hand, shotgun in the other, hunting for buried treasure in the desert? Hard to imagine... even for me, but not so hard if I tried really hard to imagine...
Han has suggested we join a gym together. I think that may be a good idea. Since I've lost 10 lbs last november, I haven't gained any of that weight back, perhaps it's time to take what's mine... back! I need to relieve some tension too. I've used the the word stress a lot recently, but now I know it isn't stress, it's just tension. My neurotic personality is extremely prone to tension and wandering thoughts. I shall turn the tension into muscle. Then one day when I become old and lazy, I will turn the muscle into fat. When I've stored enough fat in my body, I will have a liposuction and tummy tuck. Such is the circle of life.
~~Beard Progress ~~
I'm sorry to inform everyone that my wolverine beard progress is not coming along as quickly as I'd hoped. Perhaps I should not have shaved two days ago. Such an action hindered the beard growth progress quite a bit. I'm basically back at one. More to come...
listening to Falling for You - Colbie Caillat
reading Work with Passion
feeling cheerful
Posted by yuhoo7 at 01:50 AM. Filed under Thoughts.
I had a meeting this morning from Michael V. from a certain publication. This is not to be confused with Michael L from an earlier entry. An aside: I've dealt with many salesmen in the past two years, and I would say a lot of them are named Michael! My sales manager is named Michael. His father, one of our sales reps, is Michael Sr. The president of our company, also Michael. Then I've got all these other random Mikes running around all over the place.
Anyway, back to the meeting with Michael V. I had forgotten about the meeting this morning, for some reason I thought today was Tuesday, but in actuality it's Wednesday. I've been so out of it lately. He came in, we went into the meeting room and started talking business. He had a proposal with him, it included one print ad in their regular magazine, one "online package", and one print ad in the newsletter. I told him flat out that we aren't even considering the newsletter, but we're in for the magazine. So all that's left was the online package. I didn't want to just tell him flat out 'no'. The meeting had only lasted about 3 minutes, so I thought I'd let him sell me a bit. He went on for maybe 10 minutes about this online marketing package. How it increases exposures, how we'd be able to show three pages instead of just one... blah blah. So at one point I stopped him and asked, "Do you really believe that this online package will make that much of a difference?" Maybe there was a certain negative tone in my voice when I asked it... I'm not sure. He paused for a second, and pushed his glasses up with his middle finger, looked to his right, and as he touched his right ear, he said, "Yes, yes I do think you will really benefit from this package, if you'll look at the numbers..."
Things I'd noticed throughout our conversation. Every time prior, and after I asked that question, he had pushed his glasses up with his index finger. But when I asked that particular question, he pushed his glasses up with his middle finger. The middle finger was a subtle "fuck you" to me for asking the question. Of course, one cannot judge a person to be a liar just due to this one thing. He followed the middle finger with looking to his right. This meant two things. One, he was averting my gaze as much as he would like to avert my question. Two, people recall memory by looking to their left. People construct memory when they look to their right. So he was about to construct me a little lie. Finally, he told me the lie as he grabbed his right ear. Touching of the face, is a possible sign of lying, or at the very least, nervousness. But when you put all three things together, it's as clear as day. I don't like liars. If I had it my way, I would not advertise with his company at all. But at the very least, I know not to go with their online package, because that's total shit.
listening to Lovers' Concerto - Kelly Chen
reading What Every Body is Saying
feeling touched
Posted by yuhoo7 at 12:51 AM. Filed under Thoughts.
Yesterday at work, while I was in the bathroom, I noticed something odd. I was going #1, and I looked over at the half-used roll of toilet paper propped up against the wall on the toilet paper holder. Someone was too lazy to slip the toilet paper into the holder like they're supposed to. I think that someone might have been me. But I digress...
I saw a spec of something on the roll of toilet paper out of the corner of my good eye. Strange, I thought. I took a closer look... "It couldn't be...", I thought. "No way..." After I finished my business with the toilet, and flushed, I picked up that roll of TP. Holy Shit, there was a spec of shit on the roll of toilet paper. I was disgusted. I vomited into the toilet, flushed again, propped the roll of TP up against the wall again, looked in the mirror and checked my teeth for vomit chunks. I promptly left the bathroom.
I'm kidding, I didn't vomit. But I did find a spec of crap on the toilet paper roll. I was slightly disgusted, but wasn't really surprised. What better place to find shit than on toilet paper. I was more curious than anything. How did someone get a single, tiny spec, onto the roll...as if they placed it on there manually, and with extreme care... The mystery of the Shit shall remain... a mystery...
listening to Somewhere Out There - Celine Dion & Peabo Bryson
reading Adobe Illustrator 4 On Demand
feeling amused
Posted by yuhoo7 at 12:01 AM. Filed under Thoughts.
Colorful World
With the canvas set before me
I prepare my palette
Pick my colors
And, with the picture in mind
I forget myself
A few gentle strokes here
And bold ones there--
I lose the time
As it swiftly passes on by...
There, I've colored My World.
----
Marketing meeting with the bosses @ 9AM tomorrow. Despite all the distractions, I finally gotten it done and shall sleep early for once.
listening to Gravity by John Mayer
reading Work with Passion
feeling good
Posted by yuhoo7 at 11:31 PM. Filed under Creative Writing, poetry.
Another turning point;
a fork stuck in the road.
Time grabs you by the wrist;
directs you where to go.
So make the best of this test
and don't ask why.
It's not a question
but a lesson learned in time.
It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life. -Greenday (Time of Your Life)
I watched a rerun of American Idol tonight with my sister tonight. She has been taping the episodes recently, and watches them over and over again. She hasn't said anything, but I can tell by looking at her that she has the dream of becoming a singer one day. She just turned 12, so young and full of dreams. As I watch the show, seeing how contestant after contestant is berated and rejected, I wonder if Sabrina realizes that chances are, if she actually wants to become a famous singer, that she probably won't make it. Reason I know this is because I have never heard her sing. She barely even talks. People who are good at anything practice their craft all the time. But if she ever said to me, 'Big brother, I want to be a famous singer.' I would support her 100%. Because I believe in dreams.
I didn't have any dreams when I was her age. I only took instructions from my parents. It's like I never developed a mind of my own. No one ever told me I was good at anything, or encouraged me. It just wasn't part of my environment. I just floated around, like that plastic bag in 'American Beauty', except there was a string tied to my bag. I wasn't going anywhere.
So where am I going now? I'm very good at going with the flow, but man... it's shitty. I keep asking myself that question about where I'm going. I need some certainty in my life. I need to make some decisions. Make that decision and take massive action. Having such a hard time just saying, 'Fuck it, I will do this!'. That's all it'll take. Even as I ask myself to answer that question right now, "What do you want to do?" I refuse to answer it. It's uncanny why I act this way. I'm getting extremely frustrated lately with myself. I haven't felt down or anything, just more and more angry. It's funny that I can never get angry at other people, yet I can get so angry with myself. What the fuck did I ever do to me? Haha. Maybe anger is good. I would like to have a angry breakdown, but without going postal. Maybe I'll take the bit of money I have saved up, and go on an adventure. Maybe I'll find myself in South America honing my spanish hiking up the Andes.
I was working in the warehouse today, helping the Michael put up the booth structure for the upcoming show. It took more than 3 hours to put it up and take it apart. We have 5 tradeshows this year scheduled so far. And this is the easy structure to put up. It's funny but my job has no stress, yet it's also the only thing stressing me out in my life. It's not substantive for me. I don't feel like I'm making a difference in mine, or anyone else's life. My brain is turning into jello, not the tasty blueberry flavored jello, but the nasty lemon yellow jello.
I read the Four Keys To Success article as suggested by Roy.
Set and communicate goals and expectations
Measure
Love your coworkers
Love what you do
I have only one of those four items. I do love my coworkers. They're good people. I like people, because people are simple. People just wants one thing. They want to be happy. They strive to be happy, their own definition of happiness. Sometimes this striving can cause people to be unhappy. But I digress...
Set and communicate goals... the first step in making that decision, setting up that goal to work towards. Set little goals that work towards the big goal. Then gauge the results to measure how effective the change has been. I guess I have been setting little goals for myself, and completing them. Although they are not work related. It does bring me a great joy. Just got to keep hanging onto things that bring me happiness, things that bring me up. There are many of those things recently actually. I don't like the fact that my job is bogging me down. It's the title of my blog for Fuck's sake, "We Must Keep Going!" Seeing those two stick figures pointing the way towards uncertain land, knowing that they must keep going... That's what life's all about.
I feel better already. I'm going to figure all this shit out real soon and it's going to be delicious... like blueberry muffins.
listening to Time of your life- Greenday
feeling Inspired
Posted by yuhoo7 at 02:15 AM. Filed under Thoughts.